Turn London's Boris bikes into Boris Beasts

We want to rid London's bikes of bankers branding and turn the streets of London into a style Serengeti.
Michael O Shea
1,006 Facebook Friends
United Kingdom
1 Team Member

Project Summary

How do you do?

We are TellTails, a small, independent toymaker based in, Hackney Wick, East London who makes wearable animal tails for adults and children alike.

Our idea is simple, we want to raise enough funds to successfully sponsor London’s famous Boris Bikes for the next 4 years.

We believe the current Boris Bikes are not only bland and boring, but that they bear the name of a large banking firm that most Londoner's would rather throw eggs at then ride with pride.

We are here to change that.

We believe in a London bike sponsored by the people, for the people.  A bike that represents the natural irreverence, exuberance and rebellious nature of the British people. 

A wild, wonderous bicycle that one might mount to feel like a Saxon king rather then a banal banker. 

And we believe that we have the answer.

Ladies and Gentlemen, hold on to your hamsters, and allow us to introduce…

The Boris Beast!

No longer will Londoners arrive to wor
k on a two wheeled turd or a  navy blue nightmare. 

The Boris beast, complete with new animal print paint job and massive, realistic, billowing tail means that you can now ride to work on a Steed! a Stallion! 

You sir, can arrive to work on your very own BATTLE CAT!

Need we say more??

I thought not.

Read on to find how to ma
ke this dream a reality and turn the streets of London into a serngeti of style.

Welcome to the jungle.

TellTails. X

What We Need & What You Get

We need to raise £37,500,000 in order to sponsor the bikes.

All of this money
 pays for everyone and everything that happens to ensure that there are Boris Beasts kept and maintained on our streets for the next 4 years.  It also pays for the new animal print paint jobs and all associated items, including maintenance trucks, docking pedestals, and uniforms also get the beastly treatment.

We have a range of per
ks available for different levels of donation.

This is an ‘All or Nothing’ campaign.  This means if we do not reach our funding target in 60 days then everyone gets refunded.

    The Impact

    • Boris Beasts aren’t just an act of style, they are a political statement that shows no longer do we want London's bikes adorned with the moniker of avaricious squander monkeys.
    • Not only does the Boris Beast pose an excellent answer to adding some jazz to this pedal powered porkchop, but the newly added tail acts as a superior mud guard, enveloping the rider in its furry clutch and protecting them from the mean streets of London.
    • Boris Beasts are a tourist attraction in themselves and will show London and the UK as a beaming example of the importance of having a sense of humour.
    • Boris beasts also serve a social purpose by crowbarring a smile onto even the most sullen of Londoner's faces.

    Risks & Challenges

    The beauty of this idea is that it is risk free!
    Once we have donated the funds in total to TFL, they are obliged to turn every bike into a beast.
    The only real challenge is rallying the masses to say yes to the Boris Beast, and dig deep into their saggy pockets.

    Other Ways You Can Help

    Want to help but are a bit wafty in the wallet? No problem!  

    Just help spread the word in any way you can, post about us on facebook, maybe a tweet or 2, pin us on pintrest, inst us on instagram or talk about us on tinder.  If you don’t have your own laptop you can just shout about us in the streets, incorporate us into a beat boxing routine or mime about us on south bank.  It all helps.

    Find This Campaign On
    raised by 85 people in 2 months
    0% funded
    No time left
    £37,500,000 GBP goal
    Fixed Funding This campaign did not meet its £37,500,000GBP funding goal by the deadline.
    Campaign Closed
    This campaign ended on August 10, 2014
    Select a Perk
    • £3GBP
      We'll chant your name

      Everyone at TellTails HQ will chant your name for 10 seconds. Brian Brian Brian...

      31 out of 1000 claimed
      Estimated delivery: January 2015
    • £10GBP
      Boris Beast Badge

      We'll send you a badge with a picture of Boris riding a Boris Beast outside tower bridge.

      6 out of 1000 claimed
      Estimated delivery: October 2014
    • £20GBP
      We'll send you a TellTail

      We'll send you one of our bouncer range of TellTails. This includes monkies, leopards, tigers and cheetahs.

      11 out of 1000 claimed
      Estimated delivery: October 2014
    • £40GBP
      We'll Send you a Swoosher

      We'll send you one of our famous Swoosher tails. Take your pick from one of our giant Dinosaur, Lizard or SHINEOSAUR tails.

      3 out of 100 claimed
    • £100GBP
      Come hang out

      You can come and hang with us, The Tailers, at our studio for the day, we'll make you a bespoke tail made to measure.

      1 out of 20 claimed
    • £500GBP
      Dinner with the Tailers

      You can come to our canal boat and have dinner with us, something nice, maybe a curry.

      0 out of 10 claimed
    • £1,000GBP
      Comendere TellTails HQ

      You can take our canal boat HQ out for the weekend with some friends and have a party. We'll provide the entertainment.

      0 out of 5 claimed
    • £10,000GBP
      Come for Christmas

      You can come for Christmas at my parents house in Spain. We'll supply a chritmas jumper and you can carve the turkey

      0 out of 5 claimed
    • £100,000GBP
      Come to our wedding

      I'll propose to my girlfriend and you can come to the wedding.

      0 out of 10 claimed
    • £1,000,000GBP
      Marry us

      I'll propose to my girlfriend and you can marry us.

      0 out of 1 claimed
    • £10,000,000GBP
      Name change

      I'll legally change my name to anything you like, propose to my girlfriend and not tell her until its too late what her new name is.

      0 out of 1 claimed
    • £37,500,000GBP

      We'll turn you into a national celebrity.

      0 out of 1 claimed
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