$1 donation gets you a thank you and a high five. Not just any high five, mind you, the kind of high five George Washington gave to Benjamin Franklin when he stuck it to Cornwallis at Yorktown.
$5 donation gets you a thank you, a high five, and a digital copy of Slagdrop Presents America... You're Welcome. Even Abraham Lincoln would be jealous.
$10 donation gets you all of the above, plus a printed version of Slagdrop Presents America... You're Welcome! and a Rick Perry Scary sticker. Alexander Hamilton would be proud of your contribution towards American creativity.
$20 donation gets you all of the above plus a 2.5" x 2.5" black and white advertisement on one of the pages. Yee haw! Andrew Jackson is eating a block of cheese.*
$35 donation gets you a thank you, a high five worthy of Washington, a digital download, a printed magazine, a Rick Perry Scary sticker, and a 5" x 5" black and white ad. Mysterious Zelaznog will mysteriously be thankful.
$50 donations gets you a thank you, a high five worthy of Washington, a digital download, a printed magazine, a Rick Perry Scary sticker, and a caricature of you drawn by one of our many talented doodlers. This doodle will be signed and sent to you as it will also be featured somewhere in the magazine for the ultimate level of humor and prestige. All of Ulysses S. Grant's wishes will have been granted thanks to your generosity.
$75 donation gets you everything in the Grant level and also a half page ad (5" x 10"). Mattix will be well pleased.
$100 donation gets you everything in the Mattix level plus we will name a page after you or your business (as long as your business is a legal one). This will be at the top of the page like so: (YOUR NAME) Presents Slagdrop Presents America... You're Welcome, Page #.
$250 donation gets you everything in the Franklin plus Spencer Holbert, man of many talents, will make a life-altering decision on film. It will be uploaded to YouTube, disseminated through Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and just about anything else and will have a producer credit in your name. That life-altering decision will be him cutting his hair into the unemployable, all-American style colloquially known as the mohawk-mullet.
$500 donation gets you everything from the Holbert and Andrew Hilbert will write you into the History of the United States of America, never to be denied, never to be forgotten inside the pages of Slagdrop Presents America... You're Welcome! Hilbert will be happy to make you the former shadow President of this fair country.
$1000 donation (you're a big shot, ain't ya?) gets you everything (YES, EVERY SINGLE AD SIZE IS YOURS), plus we rename the magazine: (YOUR NAME) Presents Slagdrop Presents America... You're Welcome! Romney, still drinking the tears from his most recent loss, will cry a single tear dedicated to you and look to the heavens and say, "Thank you, thank you."
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Watch the video. Is that piece of crap worth this much for you?
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