Sequence Jesus's DNA to gain his powers

Jesus was a man born of a virgin, so half of his DNA must have come from God or an angel. We aim to sequence his DNA and harness his supernatural powers.
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Short Summary
Jesus was a biological man, with a man's needs and a man's XY chromosomes. Yet He was born of a virgin (Luke 1:26-38). Mary presumably had the standard two X chromosomes expected in women - so where did His Y chromosome and paternal genes come from?
Genetic information must have been transferred when the Holy Spirit "[came] upon [Mary]" (Luke 1:35). This genetic information must be of divine origin. If we can sequence it, it will be the ultimate triumph of human reason - for we will know the sperm of God.
What We Need & What You Get
There are two ways we can get Jesus' DNA. In Orthodox communion, the eucharist literally becomes the flesh of Christ. We will test the eucharist after digestion and identify any human DNA not belonging to the communicant. If we assume that every major branch of Christianity is equally likely to be right about whether the eucharist is literally or symbolically Jesus, this simple method alone gives us a 1 in 3 chance of getting hold of a piece of Him.
The second method is simply to bribe the owners of a Jesus relic to let us test part of it for DNA. Strong candidates include the Eucharistic Miracle of Lanciano, which is Jesus's living heart tissue, and the Holy Sponge, which is basically a crime-scene swab.
We need:
£10,000 for whole-genome sequencing of the communicant, to eliminate any non-Jesus DNA. (We will pick a communicant who can't be the second coming of Jesus, e.g. a woman).
£25,000 for genetic testing.
£5,000 for consultation with theologians, geneticists, private detectives etc
£10,000 to administer and manufacture rewards
The Impact
As well as potentially providing proof that the Eastern Orthodox view of transubstantiation is correct, this project could lead to us being able to analyse Jesus's mutant DNA and replicate his powers:
Replicating seafood and grains by a factor of ~500-1000
Raising the dead
Walking on water (possibly using anti-gravity or neutrino beams)
Other Ways You Can Help
Even if you can't contribute, please promote this vital research on social media. We are keen to hear from you if you are baptised as Eastern Orthodox, with a letter from your church to prove it.
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£50,000 GBP goal
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Campaign Closed
This campaign ended on May 16, 2013
Select a Perk
  • £5GBP
    Early access to findings

    Exclusive email newsletters with regular progress reports including access to full Jesus sequence data at least a month in advance of everyone else

    1 out of 10000 claimed
    Estimated delivery: May 2013
  • £25GBP
    Lecture and book package

    Attendance at a lecture describing the theological and scientific basis of the Jeeznome Project, and a free copy of a book describing its findings

    0 out of 5000 claimed
    Estimated delivery: July 2013
  • £500GBP
    Jesus reliquary

    A beautiful reliquary containing the DNA of Jesus in liquid suspension, blessed by an ordained Christian priest

    0 out of 100 claimed
    Estimated delivery: December 2013
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