As part of being a PhD student, I'm writing a book. This book is going to be, roughly, about how capitalism views radical queer and trans communities as an intrinsic opposition to capital accumulation, until these communities can be "safely" subsumed as a commodified culture. In the front of this book, there will be an acknowledgement and thanks page, and YOU will earn a spot on that page! You, my friend, will forever be cemented into the annals of radical queer & trans academia.
You'll get acknowledged and gratuitously thanked on via tumbler and/or twitter with an accompanying electronic media medley (photo / drawing / cartoon / sound byte).
You will be the subject of a momentous and sweeping youtube video in which I sing your praises, perhaps literally. I will do this while modeling thrifted outfits, riding my bike, making pizzas, walking around the block, eating nachos, or some other assorted activity.
23 out of 300 claimed
Have you ever wanted to have concrete proof of my rotten opinions? Now is your chance! All you have to do is ask me a question of about a thing, and I will tell you how I feel about that thing in the most nihilistic of ways. Other ideologies that will probably influence my answer: feminism, anarchism, environmentalism, pizza. As a bonus: I will include a small drawing in the envelope to illustrate my opinions. I have opinions that you can have in writing.
32 out of 200 claimed
This gets you admission to a "fried-whatever-the-fuck-you-want" party at my house, in Bloomington. I'll set up a "whatever fryer," a veggie fryer, and a vegan fryer. I'll fry ANYTHING*. You bring it, I'll bread it and slam it into a hot vat of fat until golden fucking brown. All you can drink beer included. *Must be "food"
0 out of 50 claimed
You'll get a t-shirt. The front will feature a stylized rendition of my NEW FACE (that you helped create!) and will be labeled "CYBERQUEER GENDERCOMMANDO" in a pleasing black metal-esque font. The back will have the Videodrome quote "long live the new flesh" printed between the shoulder-blades. You won't get anything BUT a t-shirt tho~
3 out of 50 claimed
On the first hot weekend of the year get nearly naked (short shorts and kuttes, duh), listen to hardcore, and burg out. Everything will be provided: Beer, punk rock, chef level food, dumb tattoos, skateboards, dogs, B.O., posi-vibes, lawn games, naps under trees, etc. This will probably go down in May and if we do it at my place, we'll def have a bonfire too!
2 out of 50 claimed
My homie Penina is a super rad cartoonist, and they are making a little tiny comic about little tiny Scout, when I was but a diminutive child. We will send a signed copy to you along with a personalized note! Check out her work here: http://www.penina.net/
16 out of 20 claimed
I'll draw a naked picture of a celebrity of my choosing, on archival quality paper, in ink (probably), package it, and send it to you. Will you end up with Bruce Willis or Phyllis Diller? Donate and get a saucy surprise in your mailbox!
0 out of 25 claimed
You'll get a t-shirt. The front will feature a stylized rendition of my NEW FACE (that you helped create!) and will be labeled "CYBERQUEER GENDERCOMMANDO" in a pleasing black metal-esque font. The back will have the Videodrome quote "long live the new flesh" printed between the shoulder-blades. I'll also include a personalized note and a drawing and I'll give you "Ups on the Internet!"
18 out of 75 claimed
In addition to be a PhD student and an adventure guide, I'm also a bike mechanic and would be pleased to tune up your bike for you IF YOU ARE IN the Bloomington, IN area. This is perf~ after a harsh continental winter! At this donation level I will put new cables and housings on your bike, clean everything, re-lube the bearings, adjust IT ALL to perfection, and make sure it rides like a super rad dream (the best dream!) You will need to bring me your bike in order for this to be real.
5 out of 20 claimed
You're gonna get a big ol' trophy, replete with your name and a little plaque that might say "Thanks 4 helpin' me be a beautiful woman" or it might have a quote from Roseanne. It could also have an etching of an IROC-Z doing a burnout instead of any text; this is symbolic. You will also get "Ups on the Internet" and a handwritten letter and maybe some surprise items at this level.
2 out of 10 claimed
So I'm also a good cook! Like very good! I will travel up to 1 hour outside of Bloomington and cook you dinner sometime within the next year. You pick the cuisine and reimburse me for the ingredients, I make the menu, prepare it, eat it with you, then I split. I hate doing dishes. Sorry. Dinner conversation: Dark forests, time travel, destroying reality, hamburger restaurants, and truck jumps.
1 out of 10 claimed
This is like the locals only perk, except more expensive and I'll travel up to 4 hours from Bloomington to cook you dinner. The same rules and restrictions apply. Dinner conversation: Air disasters, nuclear war, bottomless pits, the world's oldest tree, moldy couches, the sound of the void, burning tires, Tremors.
1 out of 4 claimed
Holy shit. I will literally travel anywhere in the United States to cook for you for an entire weekend. You pay travel expenses and I'll stay from Friday to Sunday and will cook 4 meals. You must supply all equipment and ingredients: Meals are conditional on these, but I will pour the entirety of my culinary acumen into this endeavor. Dinner conversation: Digital existence, terror, Gummo, bear attacks, cryptozoology, epigenetics, Discipline & Punish.
0 out of 2 claimed
I will guide you on an adventure, for real. Choose from backpacking, mountain biking, or bicycle touring. Remember, I've been doing trips like these for nearly a decade and have amassed ~much experience~ and also a large cache of gear, so you will be in good hands. This trip must be used within 2 years of the campaign. You are responsible for our transportation costs. I'll cover the gear, food, and permits. The details of this will need to be hashed out more explicitly.
0 out of 2 claimed
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