"Associate Executive Produced by" credit in all MDE releases for the next year, and pre-order of our "Surefire Sudden-Death" smash-hit CD: http://mde-tv.bandcamp.com/
First, we bring in close-air support in the form of a shoutout on Twitter... THEN, we forward you level-midnight OPSEC login details for an exquisite-corpse style comedy sketch, which you will write along with everybody else who takes this perk. Depending on how good/bad it is, we'll make it either a full-on official production, or do it guerrilla-style in an afternoon for the alt. channel... FINALLY, Sam, Nick, OR Charles will make a juicy prank phone call to a number of your choice.
First, we mail you our elegant and tasteful sticker pack*. These haven't been designed/printed yet but one of them will probably be a 4x6" gold foil thing, another a 4" dia. circle, both tasteless... THEN, Sam, Nick, or Charles (your choice) does a Kustom video shoutout (on a separate YouTube channel) just for you... (*It will take us a little while to get the stickers made.)
In the words of the wise Don King (also Eric Holder), "you don't always get what you pay for, but you always pay for what you get!"... With this $25 mystery goodie bag, you will get some stuff in the mail, and that's your only guarantee. Maybe it's a Drive Angry movie poster with Real Charles Carroll blood on it. Maybe it's a thumb drive with pictures of our girlfriends on it. The only thing you're promised is a $100% Nitro Hell Ride with Massive Wow Factor*... (*You are not promised this.)
We set our minds to work crafting a two-page erotic CoD:MW3 fanfiction, where YOU are the main character, traveling all around the Theater of Operations with your favorite sexay CoD characters. We read this aloud and send you the MP3, so you can share with loved ones... BONUS!--shortly thereafter, in the mail you will receive a matching postcard caricature of yourself in hentai CoD tactical camo!
First, you'll get a "thank you" call from S,N, or C (you pick). Talk for ten minutes about whatever you please... "Does Charles really have SPQR tattooed on his abdomen?" THEN, one of us (your choice) will make a serious internet-beef video, talking earnestly about how much we hate you and how you messed with us and how we're gonna get revenge... Finally, you'll get a care package--either a hand-lettered yellow "CUM" hat, OR a generously-sized treat bag with our favorite candy and snacks.
EITHER have Nick call dealerships in your area and negotiate the best possible price on a new car of your choice, OR have Sam (specializing in break-ups/make-ups) phone your sweetie/crush/ex and negotiate the next-stage in your love life... BONUS!--Charles will Bic his head and keep it shorn for x weeks, where x = # of people who choose this perk... iBONUS!--all donations $95 and up get a more prominent "Executive Produced by" credit!
EITHER Sam, Nick and Sweet, Sweet Charles will pick you up and take you to lunch at Spike's Junkyard Dogs, THEN spend the rest of the day at a haunted house or Gamestop or wherever you wanna. We wrap the day up by leaving you at a drug dealer's house in Olneyville, OR pick any three previously mentioned perks. (*Option A is only available to those lucky enough to live within driving distance of Providence.)...
The three of us will come visit and share a "hand-made," "artisan-quality" pizza... THEN, we collaborate with you on a quick improv sketch for the alt. channel... FINALLY, Nick will slow dance with you, Sam will spend a few hours optimizing your PC's performance, and Charles will organize your closet.