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I'm going to jet-ski from Chicago to New Orleans to raise money to provide 500 goats and 1000 chickens to African families in need.
Heifer International
Identity Verified
Los Angeles, California
United States
5 Team Members

I’m comedian Kurt Braunohler and I think I might have figured out the dumbest way to make the world a better place. I’ll be jet-skiing from Chicago to New Orleans (seriously) in order to raise money to provide 500 goats and 1000 chickens for African families in need. I’ve got the jet-ski, I’ve got my route – I just need YOU to donate money so we can help change people’s lives.

Every dollar you donate will go directly to Heifer International. Providing 1 goat and 2 chickens to a family in Africa completely changes their lives: the goat gives them milk, cheese, and yogurt, and the chickens provide eggs for food and sale. It’s a perfect renewable resource for a family, and Heifer has been responsibly providing African-raised livestock to families for 70 years. If we make over $50,000, the rest of the money will go to a Mississippi River organization that helps protect and clean up the river. (Money over $100,000 will be split evenly between Heifer and the Mississippi River organization, TBD.)

Just to reiterate, every dollar you donate goes to helping people in need. All the travel costs of my trip – the chase boat, the mechanic, the EMT, the Lifeguard, and the ex-military Marine Coordinator, are being covered by Comedy Central Studios. They will be documenting this insanely stupid adventure for a new digital series called Roustabout. And to answer everyone’s first question: YES, I AM REALLY DOING THIS.

Schedule (subject to change, obviously, because the River is a cruel mistress):

May 29th – Pre-Launch show at Schubas in Chicago featuring myself, Wyatt Cenac, and Candy Lawrence.

May 30th – Launch Party 7am, Chicago’s Navy Pier – come see me off / give me words of advice

May 31st – St Louis – what will happen?

June 1st – Kaskaskia, IL – what again?

June 2nd – TBD – we should have planned this better

June 3rd – TBD – now I’m worried

June 4th – TBD – oh boy

June 5th – Arrive in New Orleans – Celebration show at One Eyed Jack’s with Kristen Schaal and more!

Last year I crowd funded a project to skywrite a joke in the sky. We raised $6,000 and wrote “HOW DO I LAND” over downtown LA. The response to that was overwhelming. I realized that ideas (no matter how silly) have power, and we can take that power and turn it into actual good for the world. I hope you’ll support this absurd quest of mine and please share this, RT it, blog about it, and even join me on the river! I’ll be sending out constant updates, offering people rides, and doing shows as I ride down the river – so follow me on Twitter and Facebook and Instagram for all the info!

Find This Campaign On
raised by 745 people in 4 months
68% funded
No time left
Verified Nonprofit
$50,000 USD goal
Flexible Funding This campaign has ended and will receive all funds raised.
Campaign Closed
This campaign ended on September 12, 2014
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Select a Perk

    Get Married on a Jet-Ski

    I'll officiate your wedding on a jet ski (I’m an ordained minister) if you live anywhere near Land Between The Lakes (Kentucky, Tennessee, Arkansas, Missouri) and can get married on June 3rd. Do you want to be part of history?

    1 out of 1 claimed
  • $10USD
    Name Dropping

    A goat will have your name whispered into it's ear before it is sent off to its family.

    133 claimed
  • $25USD
    Personalized Tweet

    I will tweet you a personalized thank you.

    91 claimed
  • $40USD
    Great Butt

    Lil' Minnow (aka Scotty Landes aka @marylandmudflap) will sign a pair of underwear for you with "I love your butt. Love, Lil' Minnow"

    7 claimed
  • $40USD
    "Keep It Dry Towel"

    You get the "Keep It Dry Towel" that I used on "Drunk History"! Plus you get to help people, which is better than a towel with my face on it.

    47 claimed
  • $50USD
    Roustabout T-Shirt

    You get the Roustabout Equation T-shirt that I'm wearing in the video. "500 Goats + 1000 Chickens = Jet-ski"

    244 claimed
  • $75USD
    T-Shirt and Secret

    You get the T-shirt AND a personal text from me giving you the secret to success!

    15 claimed
  • $100USD
    Jumping Shout Out

    I will Vine myself screaming "I love {YOUR NAME HERE}!" while jumping the wake of a barge. NOTE: Donation must be received by June 2nd for this to be done on an actual Jet Ski. Donations made after June 2nd will be done on a toy jet ski.

    19 claimed
  • $200USD
    4 Shirts! (That's MATH!)

    You get 4 shirts! enough for your whole family!

    2 claimed
  • $500USD
    Google Hangout with a Chicken

    I will do a 30-minute Google Hangout with you and 2 friends while dressed like a chicken.

    1 claimed
  • $525USD
    Secret to LOVE

    I will put lipstick on and kiss a piece of paper and send it to you AND personally text you the secret to Love!

    0 claimed
  • $1,000USD
    Episode Dedication

    We will dedicate an episode of the Web Series to you: "Based on the life story of {YOUR NAME}"

    1 out of 6 claimed

    Name a Jet Ski

    We will name one of the 2 Jet Skis after you in a Christening Ceremony at Chicago's Navy Pier. It will appear in the episode and will be referred to throughout the series. NOTE: Donation must be received before May 30th! (Launch Day.)

    2 out of 2 claimed
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