I will write you a haiku about anything you want!
I will draw you a picture of anything you want! I can't guarantee that it won't be done with crayons.
Yeah, that's right. You'll get a lifetime supply of hugs.
If you can donate $100 or more, you can have my soul. Seriously. If multiple people claim my soul, I will divide it into horcruxes and distribute it evenly.
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