Metallica, Pink Floyd, The Rolling Stones,
What do the above bands have in common? Egomaniacs? True. I'll give you that one.
BUT, they have all also recorded and performed with orchestras. Orchestras are what music sounded like BEFORE jazz musicians showed up and ruined it for everyone with their marijuana cigarettes and drum solos and vast instinctual knowledge of rhythm, melody and modal dynamic.
Granted, orchestras have fallen out of favor of late. You don't so much see orchestras much anymore, my guess is they're at home with the grand kids, reminiscing about nostalgia. Saying stuff like, "In MY day, we only had eight and a half notes. These days.. you kids and your twelve notes.. It's madness. Like hot water, or Tang."
Yes, well, so, classical music is what math sounds like when it gets bored. Fine, thats true, BUT, take a hard rock band, like mine, Seattle's Late September Dogs (heretofore referred to as LSD - because reasons) and add some cellos, and some pianos, and maybe even a Sousaphone* and you get.. well... that's what we're trying to find out.
*I dont know what that is either.
What We Need & What You Get
What do we need? Simple. Money, the great creative lubricant.
Sadly, great Sousaphonists dont grow on trees. (I hear they tried it once, in a lab in Vienna. It ended... poorly. There was an explosion, and they got Sousa all over everything. )
- As a result of the failed Viennese orchestra growing experiments of 1909, we will need to rent us some musicians of the orchestral variety. Timpanists, Pianists, a Flautist or three. We will also need a studio, an engineer, a large and continuous supply of everything bagels (I understand that flautists subsist solely on everything bagels), and the various other costs associated with recording a hard rock acoustic orchestral record without the backing of a major record company, or Michael Kamen.
We think the absolute minimum this is going to cost is 7500 bucks. We think this because we are musicians, and not accountants, and really what the hell do we know about budgets, and money and 401ks and stuff.
If we get more, it will be better. That's really it. If we raise more money than that, we can make a better record, money raised translates directly into time spent on the album. So please help. A lot.
- Depending on your level of contribution, you get the album , a preview of the record before anyone else, T-shirts, access to early mixes, video of the process, free downloads of the record, and tickets to the CD release show when the album is done.
IF YOU PLEDGE 5K OR MORE YOU CAN PARTICIPATE IN THE RECORDING PROCESS. Seriously. If you give us 5000 dollars or more, you can show up to the studio, share opinions, critique guitar solos, play the tambourine on a song, and we will completely ignore you and all your advice, JUST LIKE YOU WERE A FROM A REAL RECORD COMPANY*.
- If we don't reach our goal, we will lead sad dejected lives of misery and sadness and die alone in that rain gutter behind the Central. So. Gross.
*A "RECORD" is a round vinyl object that contains awesome.
To my knowledge, no one has ever done anything like this before, ever. It will be the first time in the history of everything.
OK. Right, I know that's not true. BUT, it will be the first time we've done it. And I think it will be AWESOMESAWCE.
Why should you contribute? Why? Because you like stuff that rules.
And this totally rules. Well, I mean, it will. You know, in the future.
Other Ways You Can Help
If you can't contribute, please help spread the word, via one BUT ONLY ONE of the following.
-Tell your friends, your acquaintances, your loved ones, that cousin you don't much talk to anymore but keeps coming over and you're all, yeah I'll totally call you but you don't, and then you ignore their facebook requests and then at Thanksgiving they're all like, why do you ignore my facebook requests and you're all like, oh I don't use facebook very much even though you totally do. Tell them.
-Tell your enemies, or your frenemies, or your nemesises. (That's if you have more than one.)
-Rent a plane and do some skywriting. (not about this necessarily, it just sounds neat)
-Are you an Astronaut? Write it in space, with one of those space pens that cost 50 thousand dollars.
-Are you unemployed? When you go to a job interview, tell the interviewer that there's a hard rock band trying to do a record with an orchestra and they'll be all "WHAT? THAT'S CRAZY," and you can be all "I KNOW" and then you'll be friends and get the job.
-Tell a farmer.
-Make a mayonnaise painting of the band logo and display it in a sandwich shop without telling anyone and wait till they go.. "What's that smell?" Then look at them and smile and flee.
See and hear more here:
Please! PLEDGE NOW.