John Boehner's got the worst job in American politics. But we can help him succeed!
The Republican Party has become like the neighbors down the street that nobody wants to visit anymore because of the "crazy uncle" who moved in with them.
Unfortunately it got even worse when a whole bunch of those crazy uncles (and some crazy aunts, too) got themselves elected to Congress, where they sit around quoting Ayn Rand and mis-quoting the 2nd Amendment, while the country's economy prepares to go "over the cliff."
Pity poor John Boehner, wanting to follow in the footsteps of great Speakers of the House, like Sam Rayburn and Tip O'Neill, but having to inspire and lead such a crowd to do what's right for the country.
HERE'S HOW WE CAN ALL HELP HIM
Speaker Boehner has two choices:
Keep his radical right-wing base happy, by doing basically nothing. Then he gets to keep his job as Speaker but go down in history as the Speaker-of-the-House equivalent of bottom-of-the-barrel presidents like James Buchanan and Andrew Johnson, or
Round up about 50 reasonably sane House Republicans, and do a responsible fiscal compromise with the Democrats, including BOTH higher taxes and substantial spending cuts
If Boehner rises to the occasion, makes the hard choice and does a deal, he'll ensure his place in history as a Speaker of the House who put his country first at a critical juncture.
Unfortunately, he'll likely also lose his job, as the GOP right-wing zealots vote him out as Speaker.
Let's make it easier for John Boehner to do what's right by creating an important new job for him as Executive Director of a think tank to be called "SANITY NOW IN POLITICS" (SNIP).
The $10 million we raise will be used to:
Fund the launch of SNIP, including renting space on K Street, hiring key staff, website design and maintenance, wining and dining key politicians, media personalities and opinion leaders, and doing other essential Washington, DC "insider" stuff
Fund the creation of the future ex-Speaker Boehner's position as SNIP executive director, including base salary of $500,000 per year, expense account, health and golf club memberships, car and driver, pension, medical and other benefits
Fund substantial political action campaign contributions for all the Republicans who join with Boehner and the Democrats to support a fiscal compromise to avoid the "cliff," to assist them in maintaining their seats when the right-wing zealots target them in the next election
Pay for round-the-clock "secret service quality" security protection for Boehner in the event the GOP rightwing puts out a "fatwah" (Look it up. Hint: Think "Salman Rushdie") on him for his "treason."