The very definition of a mother is selfless service to another – Ann Crittenden
If I am guilty of grievous attachment to one particular expectation for my life, it is the idea that I will certainly, absolutely, have a child; a soft, smiling baby with those curiously small toes who will complete my experience on earth, and make me whole.
My friends describe me as the kind of uncommon person who actually prefers spending time with children. It’s true; I like their style. Children will tell you they love you right after they tell you you've got funny hair. They are thrilled by cake batter covered spoons, and they laugh even before you tickle them. Children are full of wonder, and believe in fairies.
As a mother, I plan put to good use all of the years of practice I’ve had explaining to parents the importance of letting children bang on pots and pans, paint with zeal, construct elaborate forts from the couch cushions, and solve their own problems. You see, I've been a teacher of small children for more than 20 years, and I even started an art business for children www.clementineart.com to help them grow up creative.
Don’t think I romanticize. I am experienced with diaper rash, emergency room trips, fevers, and tantrums. I am ready for sleep deprivation, and a severely curtailed social life. I’m CPR/First Aid certified, and ready to take whatever that little person dishes out, not to mention what I’m ready to give.
Having a child is my destiny, I am certain of it.
Never mind the troubling fact that I’m on the wrong side of 40 and single. I’ve always been one to ignore the “biological clock” chanting nay-sayers; after all, medical miracles happen every day to mature women who would like a family (Joan Lunden anyone?).
Things fell apart slowly, over several years, and seven attempts to become pregnant. I smiled through the no coffee, no alcohol, prenatal vitamins and foul smelling Chinese herbs. I happily lived most frugally during the expensive fertility treatments. For month after month, I was Tina Fey in Baby Mama, grimacing through the ‘not pregnant’ red line and vowing to try again. This couldn’t be happening to me. Not me.
When a rock-star fertility specialist told me that my chances of having a healthy child (who is genetically related to me) was less than 3 percent, I thought it was game over. Consequently, I looked long and hard at the option of adoption. While the fees for adoption are similarly prohibitive, the waiting for a single person is interminable (as long as 4 years) and I'm not getting any younger.
I have one last-chance.
I have the opportunity to receive IVF treatment abroad using both egg and sperm donor by a double board certified fertility doctor who specializes in infertility treatment and IVF. The success rate for this treatment is 70%.
However, the cost of this treatment is $9,500. I have paid the deposit of $2,600 with all of my savings, and an advance on my salary. This deposit covers the cost of both donors. The remaining balance will be used for fertility medications, doctor's visits and the IVF procedure itself.
I know what a healthy, happy and secure family feels like, and how to make that happen for a child. Our home will be filled with safety and comfort, family and friends, cooking and celebrations, music and creativity, health and outdoors, trips and adventure, and lots of love, guidance, and support. I believe that wholesome families can look all kinds of ways. I feel blessed to have a life filled with the incredible family, friends, support, energy, and all the love it takes to create a magical childhood for a child.
Both of us - this precious child, and me - as recipients of this selfless and loving gift - will in turn, take on the responsibility to provide generous support to others - contributing to the great circle of loving care for all who are in need.
I am wholeheartedly and passionately committed to IVF and a baby. The gift of funds to make IVF possible would be the gift of a lifetime. Since time is of the essence for me in terms of my biological suitability for carrying a child, I am so grateful for your consideration. My future is truly in your hands.
Chief Creative Mama-To-Be