From the day I was born, I knew I deserved more than I had. I was always attracted to extreme riches and excessive luxury. Unfortunately, in a cruel twist of fate, I ended up in a severely restricted environment of an upper-middle class family. For long I have lamented on the sad fate that had become me, but finally I have decided to turn things around and do something about it!
All I ask of you is to make a donation. Maybe it won't save the hungry people in Africa. Maybe it won't make the world a better place. But it will make one greedy person just a little bit happier!
What We Need & What You Get
To keep the long story short - I need money and lots of it! But in case I fall short of that goal, I guess any amount will do. Because, you see, each donation you give, no matter how small, will make you a bit poorer and me a bit richer. And that's what it's all about!
You may wonder what happens if the campaign goal isn't reached? What if I end up with only a couple hundred bucks? Maybe you're thinking I'll give it all back, because why would a person of such great aspirations even care about such trifles?
To be completely honest, I'll be pretty angry with all of you. It will mean that you robbed me of what I deserve to have. I'll still be a mean and miserable bastard, and I'll hate you all for giving too little.
But on the other hand, I love money so much that I would sell my mom for a dollar. As long as I get at least a dollar in this campaign, it will be a success in a way (though a pretty lame one), as it means I get to keep my mom for later resale. So basically, I will keep the money, no matter how small the amount.
As far as perks go, everyone who makes a decent enough donation will get a picture of me enjoying my riches. Bigger donations will get signed pictures, and the best ones will get also get a short text describing how great it is to be rich, and why rich people are better than poor people.
This project won't really impact anyone except you and me, and perhaps a few suckups or bimbo girls who will try to take some of my money. I promise you that I will continue to be a bad person regardless of how much money I make in this campaign. I will try to mislead and screw all those people over in order to squeeze out what little they have before they realize I'm not buying into their game.
Other Ways You Can Help
If you won't give me money, well, the sad fact is that I can't force you. I guess the least you can do in that case is to spread the word and get other people to send me cash. If you do that successfully, I still won't like you though, but I won't like you just a little bit less.
Since Paypal seems to be quite problematic with regards to funding, and since they’re planning on taking 15% of my money, I strongly encourage all supporters to pay via bitcoin to this address here: